God loves to remind me

June 25, 2013 § 2 Comments

“Do not worry or be anxious about who you are or who you want to become.

I will change you.
In time.”

I understand how a friend was feeling like… the other day we talked and he doesn’t want to be seen as a person who takes charge in situations. Even though sometimes, he takes charge and puts his foot down when some situations get out of hand. He doesn’t like to be that kind of person. In a similar way, I understand what he was going through because I am sometimes childish, but I don’t want to be childish… When I want to Fit In and have fun, I become childish as a default personality. How else am I supposed to have fun and not be childish or immature? Instead, I want to be a loving and gentle person, and still have fun in anything that I do. My friend and I become people who we don’t want to be and this feeling burdens us.

Why do I become childish?

I realized when I’m not rooted in the word of God every morning, I lose a sense of who I am in him and immediately try my best to fit in because I don’t feel like I don’t belong. In a way, I adapt to my surroundings so I’m not excluded – this feeling of unworthiness has been a life time struggle… everyday I grow more aware of what brings me down and what lifts me up. Lately, I have been losing my sense of who I am in God because I’ve been numbing my mind with games. This is the reason why I cannot worship God… I don’t want to reflect on his daily revelations because I am distracted by other things. Because my focus is not entirely on God and so my potential to grow and to listen to Him becomes limited.

What I do first in the morning shapes the rest of my day.

For a few days, two weeks ago, every morning after I woke up… I asked God to show me what he wants me to focus on for the day. A theme for my day: June 10, Love with all your heart. June 12, Do not be distracted, but rather focus your eyes on me. June 13, Sing your heart out and do not be afraid. June 14, Serve with all your heart. I noticed a change in my heart when I was focusing on what God wanted me to think about everyday.

I dwell on God everyday and I try to focus my eyes on him, even though there are plenty of distractions in my life to stop me.

God has been revealing many ideas and He’s been helping me to relate better to my friends’ struggles. I’ve been praying more and been trying to listen to what He wants me to do every day. I’m not worried about who I am because my eyes are focused on Jesus. He will change me and shape me according to His will in his perfect timing. This Friday, I will be going to China on a mission’s trip. I am one out of six leaders to lead a group of sixteen students. I know that God will grow me in every way, through my every struggle and challenge that I face, He will use it all for His glory.

Please pray for me as I walk with Jesus on this new adventure as a leader in China. I would love prayer for wisdom, guidance, a loving heart, and strength to rely on God for help when I need it.



§ 2 Responses to God loves to remind me

  • Sheila Shannon says:

    Brandon, I find it helpful if each morning as I awake I pray the words of Psalm 143:8…”Let me hear of your steadfast love in the morning, for in you I put my trust. Teach me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.”
    It is in the love of God that my identity is rooted…this safeguards my uniqueness as I live in relationship with others. As I grow in my capacity to receive God’s love, then relationship to others takes a proper place in my consciousness. And in the love of God I offer my day to him for all that he will bring to me. Secure in trust in him I can let go of my anxieties about “doing the right thing.” This is an on-going struggle for me, but I know a compassionate and merciful Father whose love for me knows no bounds, who looks on my with love and encourages me to keep trusting him. I can even being to “play” as I learn to be “child like”, and not “childish.”

    • Brandonian says:

      Thanks Grandma Shannon. I started to pray Psalm 143:8 in the morning. I can distinguish the difference between child like and childish. Steadily God is shaping and molding me. I believe this is a new start to learn help me become a better leader for China.

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