Placing my hope in Jesus

December 31, 2013 § Leave a comment

There are times in my day where the time could go on forever.. And what do I choose to keep myself busy? I always try to fill it up with something fun, or relaxing, but I never get around to spend some time with God. Lately, I have been trying to immerse myself in His presence. My days feel long and tiring. The only rest I can seem to find is with Him, but when I do take some time with him, I become distracted with other things – if I were to blog online, Facebook distracts me, or reading manga. These distractions are meaningless and my eyes always dart to them in hope to find something interesting and connecting.

Today was a long day at work. My cousins visited me… And when I was doing my job – I had these thoughts appearing in my mind suddenly: “I don’t want to work here. If only I was younger and had more energy.” I felt repelled from these thoughts which weighed me down even more while I worked. I am reminded of the phase, “I don’t belong here.” It is hard to cope with the world’s will- you need to work to live.

I am working at Whitespot not because I want to, but because God wants me to do his will in this place. Sometimes, it may to be a role model of Christ to my co workers or the customers and to be honest, I am not always that great role model. It’s very hard to show Christ to people, to love regardless of who they are, or what they say or do to you. To love unconditionally just like God does to us.

I’m tired and weary.

It’s times like this where the only person I can turn to is Jesus.

The other day my friend told me that his pastor gave confirmation to him. Confirmation that my letter was prophetic. A confirmation that he was in the right place and at the right time doing God’s will. My friend brought an encouraging flame of hope Into my heart. There are some gifts that I have put on hold because I have been lazy to spend time with God – to hear and listen to his voice, to speak and wait for a response, to dream and pray for miracles to happen. I am well equipped, but I have not been using my gifts properly.

Mercy Mercy bring me to my knees.

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

(Isaiah 40:28-31 NIV)

Jesus,
I need help.
I want to be with you.
Wrapped in your eternal light and praise.
Transform me into someone new.
Filled with your glory and power.
You will reign forever more.
Jesus come Renew my strength.
Whisper to me.
Use me.
Amen.

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