Healing the wound

March 29, 2014 § Leave a comment

I was talking to Rebekka on the bonfire night of worship. We were talking about seeing faces in everything, from pictures to paintings to clothing and clouds, etc… Then we talked about the painting

prophetic painting I believed it represented the Holy Spirit, splitting of waters with moses, and like when we were in deep waters, God split the waters to free us of our troubles. He makes a way for us when we are struggling. Over the past couple of weeks prior to this event, I have been grieving for my parent’s divorce. It’s a memory that I have recognized as “it’s not my fault” and “I have forgiven both parents and myself”, yet I still felt so much pain rising to my surface. Rebekka had similar experiences. Then a revelation struck me hard. Seeing faces in pictures and relating that to my traumatic grieving experience reminded me of an old memory.

In this memory, God was showing me a face of a friend’s dad made through the wrinkles of a garbage bag filled with clothing. I was talking to her on the phone at this time and when I told her what I was seeing, she was outrages and crying in pain. It was a couple of days prior to this event that she was exploding on God for bringing up that memory of her dad. The fact that God was showing the face of her dad to her was to remind her that it was okay to grieve for her dad because he had passed away. God wanted to heal her wounds with her tears. He wanted to embrace her in His arms like how he embraced me as I have been crying wherever and whenever the topic of my mum or the divorce came up.

I have many things to say about what happened in my life. How the divorced wounded me, but how it also blessed me. If you would like to hear more about what God has been doing in my life, don’t be afraid to ask me in person or even through email.

I love you all so dearly. 🙂

Ask and you shall receive…

March 12, 2014 § Leave a comment

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
Matthew 7:7 (NIV)

Last week I thought it was time to ask my general manager to train me as a Carhop or an In-charge, so I went up to him asking if he could train me. He said, “We don’t need any Carhops right now, but we will train you sometime soon.” I said, “Oh, okay, well… is there any chance you could train me as an In-charge then?” He said, “Yes, we can train you as an In-charge, but first you need to be trained as a Carhop.”

How exciting is that?! So sometime soon I’ll get the opportunity to be trained throughout all the jobs in this Restaurant – at Whitespot.

On Saturday, I heard from a co-worker that a person in the Carhop just sent in her 2 weeks for leaving. This was a few days after I had asked my general manager to train me.

Monday night came around and another manager came up to me. She said, “So Brandon, you will have 5 training shifts for Carhop, 5 training shifts for serving, then you will take some time to be trained throughout the kitchen.” I didn’t realize I would be trained so soon! All throughout the night I was saying, “This is exciting! I’m so stoked to be trained, but also scared to work in the kitchen.” My heart practically jumped out of my body due to my excitement! My manager told me that I didn’t need to worry about working in the kitchen as I would be training with another one who would teach me. Cool. She told me her experiences, “You just have to make toast. Pretty much after that, they want you to leave the kitchen because they don’t want you to make any mistakes.” I felt relieved. That night, I also  learned a little bit on how to promo food items on the computers. She also told me that I would have start at 8 am on Thursday to learn how to run the floor as a manager, before my 9 am hosting shift.

I feel ready to move up, to learn more, and to bring the joyous love of God into the restaurant as an In-charge. Every day I work at Whitespot is a day filled with God’s joy. Every breath I breathe to greet the customers and ask them how they are doing fills my day with so much more fullness. Every table that I clean is a prayer to keep on praying for the people at and who come to this restaurant. These are the seats where God’s creation are coming to eat, to share stories, to work, to laugh, to hang out, and to one day know their creator. I’m bringing one step forward in his kingdom. It’s through my actions of love, thoughtfulness, kindness, and joy that reaches out to the people who come to Whitespot.  Wow. These thoughts and these gifts bring me so much Revelation. It’s like my mind is unable to comprehend what is going on, yet it knows, and it sees and believes… I’m in awe of The Lord’s glorious work in my life right now.

A friend and co-worker said to me, “You better not get stuck here in that position.”  I told her, “I don’t plan to. I made a 2-3 year commitment with God because after this I want to work somewhere else. I want to work with new people and show Christ to them. I want to live in China for 2-5 years and work there.” These next couple of years will go by quickly, but I have a feeling God will do much more than He already has for this place. I’m only one of His servants working in the darkness of this place, one light to shine and bring his kingdom down – He will bring his light to all and his freedom to those who don’t believe in him yet. He will bring His salvation upon my workplace in Jesus’ name.

I’m ready. I’m taking a leap of faith. I’m placing all my trust in You, God, knowing that you will lift me up and take me across this chasm, aiding me safely to the other side.  I asked and You answered me. I made myself bold, and You faithfully made me shine. — Holy Spirit, may your grace overflow me, so that I can continue to bring your Love into my workplace. Give me your Joy to bring me strength to keep persevering through the darkness. Help me to walk in surrender just like Jesus did. Give me wisdom and knowledge for the hard difficulties ahead. Protect me and seal your precious truth within my heart, soul, and mind. I pray this all in the powerful name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

My day starts with God answering my worries and telling me not to rush :)

March 6, 2014 § Leave a comment

I opened the fridge this morning wondering what to make for dinner tonight. Gai-lan, coconut milk, rice… I could ask my dad and Joan for ideas, but I brushed that idea aside. A few minutes later my dad asks me to make something simple for dinner since they’ll be shopping for groceries on Friday. I take out some meat to ask him what it is, ground pork, then i take out some chicken to defrost for the day. Well that solves my problem. Thanks lord for answering my worried thoughts.

This morning while I saw people waiting for the train heading to waterfront, I knew I could make it for that train. My clock spoke 08:05, giving me just under 30 seconds to run down and up the stairs to make it in time. While skipping down the stairs, then up the next set of stairs I saw a lady who looked in pained. I saw her sitting on her bum holding onto her ankle, a couple of tears streaming from her eyes. I squat down beside her and took out my ear buds asking, “What happened?” She told me she fell while running up the stairs and sprained her ankle. I placed away my rushing thoughts to get to work early and being filled with compassion I kindly asked, “Is there anything I could assist you with?” She says, “Another lady is already assisting me.” A sky train worker wearing a green jacket walks down the stairs saying, “I’ll be assisting this lady, thank you all for helping.” I nodded and took my time to walk up the stairs. I saw the sky train was packed with people, I wasn’t going to make it on this train. I waited for the next train making it on time and when I arrived at the B-line stop, which the bus came a couple minutes later, I managed to bump into Aidan (a camper from Breakaway) and sit next to him. We had a good chat. I generally see him once or twice a week on a Wednesday or Thursday morning as I head to work.

I was reading the Rabbi’s heartbeat by Brennan Manning. On one of his pages he prays, “Lord, Touch me, fill me with Your Holy Spirit, and show me how to reach out to those that You put in my path. Amen.” As I prayed this yesterday night, I was hoping that God would use me today. He certainly answered my prayer and I’m praying that he will continue to prompt me with people so that I may share the Love of Christ to them.

My imperfection being transformed into God’s work

March 5, 2014 § Leave a comment

On Thursday February 27, I wanted to give some time to be with God, but that didn’t turn out as what I had promised. I’ve been feeling impatient and frustrated for a week now. But I think it’s because I’m trying so hard to make everything perfect, and that it doesn’t turn out nicely that I become hurt. It’s like these possessions have become part of my body, and it literally feels like I’m cutting off a limb when I mess up. On Sunday February 23, I made pizza which ended up being tumbled and became messy and not perfectly round. It turned out great, was a fluffy/airy pizza. The taste is fine and delicious, but my creations don’t end up as I ever like them to be. So on February 27th as Joe was talking about how we need to lose our pride, and we need to give up everything to God. I felt convicted, it’s because I haven’t been spending that time with Jesus… And so I’ve been feeling pooped out. Making and baking lots of things, but not receiving enough rest or being filled by God. So during this moment of my conviction, I saw what I needed to do and where I needs to be, but it wasn’t enough to change my actions I took on Thursday night which was sitting in numbness. I just gotta do it.

I felt sad too, and overwhelmed by other people’s emotions. Since we were talking about dating – I became sad because I didn’t take an opportunity to tell the person I wanted to date. And even though I kept giving her up to God I just felt overall discouraged. A revelation dawned on me that all these feelings of discouragement or anxiety were related to spiritual attacks  in which the enemy was successful. The enemy was sneaking into my life to put a stop to all my actions relating to God. When I thought about it some more, I knew my feelings were right. I liked her, but I wasn’t ready to date her because God wanted me to deepen my relationship with Him and He wanted me to be who I am – the way He created me to be as He planned. As Joe talked about that guys need to be comfortable in themselves before they should date anyone, I knew that was what I was trying to accomplish. I needed to become a man.

I wasn’t ready for a relationship with this wonderful and beautiful woman of God, however, there will be a time when the right person comes into my life. It is by God who has taught me so much about who he is and who I am, and over this past year I feel more mature in the person He created me to be. Step by step, I am growing out of these old habits/defaults and steadily becoming closer to Jesus. I feel more confident and faithful today then I was a year ago. I am determined to always turn my eyes to Jesus. He is the one who gives me strength and the one who has given me a new life because he died for all my/our sins. I will continue to praise my God for all the revelations and gifts he has given to me.

 

Where Am I?

You are currently viewing the archives for March, 2014 at Through His Small Things.