June 20, 2015 § Leave a comment
So, it turns out that we may miss our chance to get on the last ferry to Chemainus because I was late to meet up with Isaac when he came by my house around 4pm… I didn’t get home until 4:17pm. Oops.
The traffic was a bit congested to add to the lateness that we missed the 5:45 pm ferry.
We are approaching the fairy now, hopefully he will be nice to us… I’m hoping he will let us leave quick enough to make it for the last 10pm ferry from Chemainus to Thetis island.
We would appreciate your prayers that we could make the last ferry on time.
Ps. We may be camping out in Duncan tonight.
June 18, 2015 § Leave a comment
Pioneer Pacific Camp, Here I come…
It sounds exciting almost getting ready to leave for camp, but deep down inside I feel terrified. It’s like I’m in a strange state where I am at peace, yet I want to feel terrified… I want to curl up into a ball and cry, but I’m not.. Or maybe it’s just that I can’t.
Today was a lazy day, I didn’t do anything in particular. Being at home with my brain not functioning, all I wanted to do in the silences was listen to music. When I tried talking to people, my tongue be tripping over itself into unformed words. Mush pea soup = brain.
I have a limited amount of time before I’m gone for the summer. I don’t feel ready.
Packing, checking that I have everything, getting last minute things and finishing up a few fundraising letters – i need more time. I need more time not to finish these things, but to rest in the presence of The Lord. I’ve been trying to be busied by the many things of life that need/want to be done that I’ve completely forgot about resting in God’s arms.
1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
Giving my day to God is one thing to do in the morning, but when I have an entire day by myself… What I really need is God. Reading the bible, journalling, reflecting on a few things the Holy Spirit brings to my mind.
There was one thing he reminded me of today. Back at Vancouver community college when I was in my baking and patisserie arts program. There was one time when I cheated on my second final for breads. Now you’re probably surprised to hear that I cheated. I’m guilty to admit that I cheated to help a friend. At that time, my friend did something wrong and was short dough for making hot dog buns. They were really upset and I felt bad, so I took a piece of my bread dough to give to them. I was just an average B student, not a student who was an out-of-the-box thinker. Now this friend was gifted in baking, very creative and I thought they would probably benefit with a better grade than me. And so this was what I believed.
The reason behind this story was not the fact that I cheated on a final exam, I admit I was wrong. But the fact that I chose to sacrifice my own dreams because I thought I wasn’t good enough, in order to make my friend’s dreams come true.
I’m not like that anymore. There are some things in my life where I may take a longer time to learn than some others; however, I will continue to persevere and practice until I get it right.
I can finally chase after my dreams. The road ahead of me is only the beginning and I believe that God will provide every step to help me get there.
June 15, 2015 § Leave a comment
has been slipping throughout my entire day.
I’ve been seeing it through the small things such as tiredness, laziness, fear, regret, allergies, and so on…
It began in the morning. I didn’t want to go to church because I was tired from my long split shift of 9.5 hours (12 hours at whitespot) from the day before. But a certain thought of guilt woke me up to be there. On the bus ride there, I heard the word “Resistance” spill into my thoughts. I even talked to a friend who felt a certain resistance happening in her life – not wanting to go to church, but going last minute. We still went, although we both felt the resistance pulling at us,
Coming home tonight, I felt tired and hungry, having not eaten anything for dinner because I wanted to attend (but didn’t really want to..) a friend’s presentation on her internship at International Justice Missions in India. When it’s hot outside, I tend not to eat much because I have no appetite whatsoever. It’s a struggle because I become grumpy, tired, easily irritable, and not in a mood to talk to anyone. However; if you spoke American Sign Language, I may speak to you then :).
During the end of the presentation, fear and regret seized my mind. I was Fearing the thoughts of leading the Leaders In Training program at camp and baking bread for like a hundred people. “Will I be a good leader” or “what will I do?” Almost doubting my capabilities that I’ll be of any use… regret entered and turned me silent. “Maybe I should have not accepted to do baking, or even to be a staff worker for the entire summer… maybe I should have planned to spend more time in Keremeos.”
Finally eating something to fill my belly, a wave of tiredness, laziness, and frustration crowded my soul. Sighing with so much work left to do, I just couldn’t believe that my entire day has been like this… I stumbled upon a realization when i was sharing my struggles with a friend. They spoke of a resistance while getting ready for camp.
“Resistance” came up for the third time today.
All day long I have been dragging myself from one thing to the next and to be honest I feel very crippled and unable to do anything on my own. However, It has placed me in a situation where I can blog freely to share both these struggles and revelations with you all in hope that you may support (give, love, encourage, & pray for) me in my journey to camp this summer and in this new transition in my life.
I forgot to do one thing today as I woke up this morning: I forgot to give this day to God. Normally Every morning before I go to work or start my day, I pray.
“Father, please guide me in this day, give me your joy so I can show others your joy and love. Let this day be about you, and not about me. Use me according to your plans. Thank you Jesus. Amen.“
Revelation: Doing things on my own is tiring, but one thing that generally gives me life to start my day is to pray.
June 11, 2015 § 1 Comment
Yesterday and today I have been saying my goodbyes to all the regular customers I have had over this past year, and who i have gotten to know pretty well. Being a regular at a restaurant is definitely something I want to do when I’m older and settled down because the relationships you build up with those people are so rewarding!! It’s not just an every, hi, nice to meet you, my name is… how can I help you sort of deal, but what’s your name, what do you do? Oh let me share something great that happened to me today! I found sharing my Joyful/funny stories and hard struggles in my life made these regular customers open up to see a new light in me. Honestly, tips aren’t everything, but in the restaurant serving industry it is your wage. It’s not something I fancy and want to spend my whole life doing, but it definitely was worth the experience.
A few days ago, I have been praying as to what my courses would look like in the fall. Ah yes I will be attending school now that I won’t be working part time or full time. I can’t seem to balance working part time with going to school as last year that lead me into a 3 week depression. It wasn’t fun at all, and when I thought I was ready for school, work, and volunteer… I truly wasn’t.
What do my courses look like in the fall?
I will be taking English, Sociology, Korean, and Aboriginal studies. So anyway, I met a regular who I said goodbye to yesterday saying that I won’t probably ever see him again. In December, I was able to share what my passions or dreams for my future, and in return he shared what he does for a living. He’s like some sort of business person… but hmm.. I’m not sure how to describe it… He basically works with business men and teaches them about aboriginal culture. That’s cool. He asked for my email address wanting to stay in touch and hopefully to sit down for a cup of coffee in the summer. He admired my work ethic and told me I had a good spirit. That they were looking for people like that. Cool – almost sounded like I was about to be recruited and may possibly.
It is mind blowing to see God work in all that I ask of him. I hope I will be in school for the fall. I am finally heading back to school after being away for so long!
Tonight, while sitting down eating my chicken strips at WhiteSpot. A person’s name came into my mind. I asked my coworker if she has seen this person because I haven’t seen him in awhile. She laughed, “He’s right behind you.” whoa! now that couldn’t be a coincidence! His name is George, a regular who I have been serving as a carhop for quite a while now. It was great to see him on my of my last few days at work. I said my goodbye. He was shocked that I was leaving, I hope has good servers for the future.
It’s really cool to see all the people God has placed into my life. I am utmost grateful and blessed to see these relationships grow. I am praying that they would know God one day too, and be encouraged to meet new people and build better relationships wherever they go to eat.
Countdown: 2 days left and 3 shifts to go 🙂
Gonna finish strong with an out pour of joy!
June 10, 2015 § Leave a comment
It’s finally coming to an end at WhiteSpot. I have spent a good two years and eight months there.
I have been so blessed by my coworkers and managers who have provided me with much patience, laughter, and love. I had an amazing opportunity to work through almost all the jobs there; first starting as a host, moving up to expo, then to an in-charge, working slowly as a carhop, then from time to time, dish washing, food expoing, making desserts and salads in the fountain, and lastly being in the straw (deep fryer) for only 10 minutes. I’ve racked up so much experience, confidence, and skills. You know i’m probably level 99 now, just kidding. I’m nowhere near there. However, I am so blessed that I can’t explain it in words how grateful I am for everyone at WhiteSpot. You guys are the best!
June 15 will be my last day at WhiteSpot. If you are in the neighborhood and would like to be served by in the Drive-in service, I will be there.
Then I will have one week to gather myself and stuff together before I depart to Pioneer Pacific Camp (PPC). This will be my third time at PPC, but this time I am returning as a staff leader. The first time I attended PPC, I was an L.I.T. (Leader in Training). The second time I went, I was a cabin leader volunteer at breakaway. At last, I will be part of the staff team there this summer being one of 4-5 leaders leading the Leaders in Training program. The main role for me is mentoring students to become closer to God challenging them in unthinkable ways hahaha, and probably doing some other team building activities with the group such as bible studies, an outrip, and so on… The Leaders in training program starts june 28 and ends on july 11. For the end of July and from mid August to September 5th, I will be baking bread for the camp with some LIT leaders. I’m not too sure what else I will be doing but, this is a start.
Baking is a hobby I love doing in my free time. The concept feels weird that I am getting paid for what I love to do for/with people. I love how God made this work out, using my gifts for his kingdom.
I would appreciate your prayers as I lead at camp, and as I bake bread building relationships with other leaders in training during the other weeks. I am stoked to see what new experiences and challenges come my way.