June 15, 2015 § Leave a comment
has been slipping throughout my entire day.
I’ve been seeing it through the small things such as tiredness, laziness, fear, regret, allergies, and so on…
It began in the morning. I didn’t want to go to church because I was tired from my long split shift of 9.5 hours (12 hours at whitespot) from the day before. But a certain thought of guilt woke me up to be there. On the bus ride there, I heard the word “Resistance” spill into my thoughts. I even talked to a friend who felt a certain resistance happening in her life – not wanting to go to church, but going last minute. We still went, although we both felt the resistance pulling at us,
Coming home tonight, I felt tired and hungry, having not eaten anything for dinner because I wanted to attend (but didn’t really want to..) a friend’s presentation on her internship at International Justice Missions in India. When it’s hot outside, I tend not to eat much because I have no appetite whatsoever. It’s a struggle because I become grumpy, tired, easily irritable, and not in a mood to talk to anyone. However; if you spoke American Sign Language, I may speak to you then :).
During the end of the presentation, fear and regret seized my mind. I was Fearing the thoughts of leading the Leaders In Training program at camp and baking bread for like a hundred people. “Will I be a good leader” or “what will I do?” Almost doubting my capabilities that I’ll be of any use… regret entered and turned me silent. “Maybe I should have not accepted to do baking, or even to be a staff worker for the entire summer… maybe I should have planned to spend more time in Keremeos.”
Finally eating something to fill my belly, a wave of tiredness, laziness, and frustration crowded my soul. Sighing with so much work left to do, I just couldn’t believe that my entire day has been like this… I stumbled upon a realization when i was sharing my struggles with a friend. They spoke of a resistance while getting ready for camp.
“Resistance” came up for the third time today.
All day long I have been dragging myself from one thing to the next and to be honest I feel very crippled and unable to do anything on my own. However, It has placed me in a situation where I can blog freely to share both these struggles and revelations with you all in hope that you may support (give, love, encourage, & pray for) me in my journey to camp this summer and in this new transition in my life.
I forgot to do one thing today as I woke up this morning: I forgot to give this day to God. Normally Every morning before I go to work or start my day, I pray.
“Father, please guide me in this day, give me your joy so I can show others your joy and love. Let this day be about you, and not about me. Use me according to your plans. Thank you Jesus. Amen.“
Revelation: Doing things on my own is tiring, but one thing that generally gives me life to start my day is to pray.
June 10, 2015 § Leave a comment
It’s finally coming to an end at WhiteSpot. I have spent a good two years and eight months there.
I have been so blessed by my coworkers and managers who have provided me with much patience, laughter, and love. I had an amazing opportunity to work through almost all the jobs there; first starting as a host, moving up to expo, then to an in-charge, working slowly as a carhop, then from time to time, dish washing, food expoing, making desserts and salads in the fountain, and lastly being in the straw (deep fryer) for only 10 minutes. I’ve racked up so much experience, confidence, and skills. You know i’m probably level 99 now, just kidding. I’m nowhere near there. However, I am so blessed that I can’t explain it in words how grateful I am for everyone at WhiteSpot. You guys are the best!
June 15 will be my last day at WhiteSpot. If you are in the neighborhood and would like to be served by in the Drive-in service, I will be there.
Then I will have one week to gather myself and stuff together before I depart to Pioneer Pacific Camp (PPC). This will be my third time at PPC, but this time I am returning as a staff leader. The first time I attended PPC, I was an L.I.T. (Leader in Training). The second time I went, I was a cabin leader volunteer at breakaway. At last, I will be part of the staff team there this summer being one of 4-5 leaders leading the Leaders in Training program. The main role for me is mentoring students to become closer to God challenging them in unthinkable ways hahaha, and probably doing some other team building activities with the group such as bible studies, an outrip, and so on… The Leaders in training program starts june 28 and ends on july 11. For the end of July and from mid August to September 5th, I will be baking bread for the camp with some LIT leaders. I’m not too sure what else I will be doing but, this is a start.
Baking is a hobby I love doing in my free time. The concept feels weird that I am getting paid for what I love to do for/with people. I love how God made this work out, using my gifts for his kingdom.
I would appreciate your prayers as I lead at camp, and as I bake bread building relationships with other leaders in training during the other weeks. I am stoked to see what new experiences and challenges come my way.